Gary's Blog Home

One year ago today Gary and I were heading home from L.A., neither of us sure we were going to make it. We had such a magical, yet stressful time in Los Angeles. Thinking about it now it seems like it was so long ago. When we arrived in Duluth we headed straight to SMDC and Gary started his [...]

UPDATED:  Okay, so I have to share this one… Ben and I were putzing around the house yesterday, waiting to go pick up my niece, Raeanna.  At around 12:30 a fire truck came down our road andturned around.  Ben and I were out on the deck, andone of the fire fighters walked up the hill.  [...]

I have so many thoughts running through my head right now. I have started and stopped this posting at least 5 times. This blog has been a tremendous tool for Gary and I, and it helped us tell our story about dealing with pancreatic cancer.  It’s funny, I want to share things but my thoughts seem so [...]

I actually started an entry back on Dec. 20th, but I didn’t get very far.  It has been difficult to focus on things. I am sure it isn’t a big surprise that I struggled through the festive parts of the Christmas season.  The question may be, do you celebrate?  Some people may think that it’s wrong, because we [...]

Going to the Wisconsin Dells turned out to be bitter sweet, but also a good thing.  With my last post, I was almost looking forward to it.  As the day got closer, I wavered.  Stress. Sadness. Anxiety.  I wasn’t sure what to do. Being with Gary’s family could be a good thing, but I was [...]

It has now been a month since Gary died. I thought of him all day long yesterday. I wonder if there are milestones to pass when grieving? If a month is one of those milestones… it isn’t getting any easier. In fact it seems to be harder.
Maybe it’s because this past week and a half [...]

Today is Gary’s 48th birthday.  Happy birthday honey!  I have been trying to submit a post on this blog since the funeral, but it is very difficult finding the words.  Someone asked me yesterday if my days were getting any better.  I had to think about that question… for me, the days aren’t getting better… but there are [...]

Here’s to another day in the Holt household. I just finished reading all the comments to Gary – cried a lot – and it really sunk in how important he has been to so many people. I know he is my world, my computer genius, my Mr. Fix-It, my stay focused man, my very own [...]

Hello everyone. Thank you for the best anniversary wishes! We have had 9+ WONDERFUL years together and now are savoring each minute. Gary is still fighting with all that he has – I can not tell you how often I thought this was it. But, Gary has other ideas. His breathing is labored, and I [...]

Just wanted to do a quick update for everyone. Gary is still fighting… holding on. He isn’t as responsive as this weekend, he spoke a bit yesterday morning but by the afternoon he was sleeping most of the time, or listening to all that is going on around him. He is getting more restless and [...]